


The Homoerotic Boosh

by MotherHecker



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Coming In Pants, Dry Humping, Frottage, M/M, Massage, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 15:21:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17852102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherHecker/pseuds/MotherHecker
Summary: Because I'm filthy.Tags say it all, don't they?





	The Homoerotic Boosh

**Author's Note:**

> Don't you just love turning an everyday, normal thing into something sexual? God, I feel like a hentai writer.

Vince was sitting on the couch in their apartment, batting his eyes at the hand mirror that should have been an available product down at the Nabootique, when Howard came forth with something to bitch about.

Vince put down the item and turned to face Howard.

"Ugh! Why does my back always hurt?" He complained, rubbingm what he could reach of his aching upper back.

"Maybe it's 'cause you're always like this --" Vince suggested, slouching over. "Like a little, old man."

"Well, maybe I'm like that because all my friends are tiny and I'm a fucking giant! I can't even see you if I stand upright," he explained, straightening his posture. 

"Well, I do understand the struggles of always wanting to see me all the time." Vince smiled, stroking his hair.

"Christ," Howard murmured at Vince's impressive ego.

"Don't worry, I'll fix your back," Vince claimed, cracking his knuckles.

"Are you a licensed masseuse?"

"Sure, I got my diploma at-- oh, come on, you know full well I'm not licensed," Vince laughed.

Howard was mad at this, but not that mad since he had to congratulate Vince for laying off the compulsive lying.

"But no, seriously, I know how to do it. Trust me," he reiterated.

"Last time I trusted you, an anthropomorphic lemon tried to make us into juice," Howard grumbled.

"Well, that ended up fine. Didn't it?"

"If by fine you mean I broke BOTH my legs!"

"That's fine, innit? I mean, compared to the juice option. Besides, we found another use for my old wheelchair, so that was rather thrifty of us."

Howard gave in, unable to stand the pain silently. "Ah, forget it. Just fix my back."

"Come on, Howard," Vince beckoned. Howard followed him.

The glittery geezer pranced over to his bed and sat down, crossing his legs and shuffling back. He patted the area in front of him.

Howard sat in his assigned spot.

"So, what do you plan to do?" He asked.

"Massaging people isn't that hard. You just rub them really hard in the place where it hurts."

"You do not sound qualified!"

"Well, I can't break a back that's already broken, can I? Just let me try."

Vince started pressing onto Howard's back. He groaned in response. It wasn't that bad.

"See? Not that hard."

"Mm, go a little bit higher," Howard directed.

Vince traveled closer to his neck. "Here?"

Howard hummed in affirmation.

Vince happily continued. He tried to hit every spot he could, and boy, did he succeed. Howard was honestly surprised Vince wasn't a licensed masseuse. This felt amazing.

Or maybe Howard was just touch-starved. A little from collumn A, a lot from collumn B.

"Lower."

"Higher."

"Lower."

"Lower."

"Not THAT low!"

"Oh, yeah, that's good."

It felt like it'd been over ten minutes of Howard moaning pleasantly, and he was still sore. He thought that maybe Vince could give him a more intense massage, like you get in those massage parlours. Howard would be completely naked, with only a towel covering him, as his best mate worked through every knot in his body with his lithe, magical hands. He liked that thought. He liked it a lot. 

He may have liked it too much. 

Howard's breath caught in his throat as he realised what he was thinking. And more importantly, what he was feeling. He crossed his legs.

Vince heard Howard make a weird sound, so he checked up on him. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Howard responded stiffly.

"You sure? You feel all tight again. You can't tighten up, Howard."

Howard considered saying something about wanting his tightness to be worked out by Vince's strong fingers, but didn't. Instead, he shrugged.

Howard was dissatisfied to feel Vince's hand magic stop. 

He sighed, "No, this'll never work. Howard, you're gonna have to lie down."

"Oh, God, it's happening," Howard muttered to himself.

"What?" Vince asked.

"Nothing. I'm moving."

Howard turned and lied down. His face resting on Vince's pillow. It was not comfy. His pillows were covered in sequins. Which should not be surprising. It did make Howard wonder how he got to sleep on these things, until he realised Vince could go to sleep in the middle of the freezing, barren, arctic tundra.

Vince started his massage again, pushing much harder into him. Howard could feel his limbs pressing into the bed. Well, one in particular.

With no warning, Vince clambered up and actually sat on top Howard. That really got his heart racing.

"Um, Vince?" Howard asked. "Wh-what are you doing?"

Vince replied, "What? It's a good spot. Look, I know you don't like me touching you, but it's for the best."

Howard tried to breathe through this undeniable feeling he'd definitely felt before. He tried to not get overexcited. I mean, what if it got on the bedsheet?

Howard hated to feel how the pressure on his abdomen made him feel a pressure in his balls. He felt like a slut. A filthy, gay, bottom slut.

Howard then briefly considered if he actually was gay. He has to accept now that he must be at least bi if he's enjoying his best friend doing THIS so much. So, he accepted that reality quite quick. But what he wanted to think about was being a bottom.

Something about the idea of being railed made him feel weak. But then he thought about it. You'd have to be pretty strong to take in a man's pounding. Besides, bottoms get all the fun. Why should HE have to work so hard to get a guy to climax when he can just sit back and cum whenever he wants to? Man, that'd be Heaven.

Strangely, this massage got him asking himself a whole lot of personal questions. And somehow, Howard came out of it with the answer; I would let Vince Noir bum me.

Howard was shaken out of his thoughts when he realised a terrible sensation. Vince was... Thrusting. Vince's whole body was moving with his massage. Oh, fuck, that felt good. 

Howard shuddered, "Vince?"

"Just have to go deeper," Vince explained. Howard noticed he actually sounded a little... Breathless.

Wait, was he enjoying this? Was Vince into this? Howard assumed that hard thing digging into his back was his knee or something, not his---

Howard couldn't keep it in any longer. He suddenly yelled, his body arching up. Vince was shocked into stillness.

"What's wrong?! Did that hurt?" He asked, concerned.

The aching in Howard's balls was gone, but he could now feel something warm and wet in his pants.

"Nope. That did not hurt."


End file.
